Step 01       Choose an issue you'd like to work through.
  Name the problem do you want to solve.

For example:
• How should I deal with a colleague with whom I have a disagreement?
• How should I deal with my son's request to go to a party on a weeknight?
Step 02      Write out the facts in the story.
  What do you know for sure about the situation?

You should be able to defend this with some sort of story or evidence
  What information is missing —
that you CAN find out? 
  What would you like to know, but simply won't be able to find out?
Step 03      Without judging yourself, reflect on how you are feeling about the situation.
 Check the boxes that apply. joy
(Remember, we're talking feelings,  not thoughts!) confusion
  Write other words that describe your feelings. 
Step 04     Brainstorm all of the things that matter to you and others in this situation.
What matters?
What's at stake?
If you can, try to get to the deeper value at stake by probing yourself with the question, "why is this important to me?"

In case it helps, here is a list of things you can draw from about things that matter often and for many people.

It is important that...
• People are treated with kindness and care
• People listen to and understand each others' perspectives without judgement
• People are not forced to change what they believe and what is important to them
• People are safe and protected from harm
• People work together to find solutions to common problems that all can live with
• Decisions and processes are fair
• The needs of special groups are paid special attention to (such as seniors, children, the vulnerable)
• We use as few resources (such as time and money) as possible to achieve our goals
• We don't waste resources on things that won't get us what we want
• We meximize the benefit of the resources we invest in anything
• We don't harm the environment
• We build community and a sense of solidarity
• We improve the world around us
• We maximize the use of reason and intellect in making individual and shared decisions
• We deal with difficulties in peaceful ways that respect human dignity
    Complete the sentence, "It is important that…" (This list will be used for Step 6A)
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
    It's important that...
  Step 05     Brainstorm possible options for dealing with your situation. 
    List the different ways you might solve this problem or answer the key question.

(This list will be used for Step 6B)
Step 06     Evaluate your choices to see which solution or solutions best live up to what should matter most.
Prioritize your values and evaluate your choices: [Step 6A] Go through the list of value statements on the left below and rate each (from the drop-down menu).
[Step 6B] For each option, from the drop down menus, give a score for how well it lives up to (or goes against) each value statement in the left column. (If it depends, or you want to make notes, use the space under the drop down menu to comment.)
[Step 6C] Repeat for as many options as you'd like to test.
As you go through the exercise, feel free to revisit your work: change the rating you have given to any value statement (if you have good reasons for this), add options or update the "What you know" section.
      Possible options to the key questions 
      Total score: Total score: Total score: Total score: Total score:
[Step 6A] Rate each value statement from 1–5
(5 is crucially important and 1 is least important)
[Step 6B] Give each option a score between 3 to -3 below
3 = fully lives up to the value | 0 = neutral | -3 = goes against the value
Step 07        Make a decision and carry it out!
    Based on your analysis,
this option gets the best score:
      Note: if multiple options have the same highest score, only the first one will be displayed here.   
    Step back and consider:

1. Which option lives up to most important?
2. Can you combine options to live up to what matters?
3. Make a decision accordingly
    List the steps you'll need to take to carry out the decision